The simple things you need to know to deepen your partnership and make your relationship work, especially when things seem to going sour is:
1. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give them a hard time, but it will actually make them dig their heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.
2. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget.
3. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
4. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel they are not as good at it as you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.
5. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
6. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
7. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
8. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
Good luck to all that want a successful relationship
1. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give them a hard time, but it will actually make them dig their heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.
2. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget.
3. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
4. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel they are not as good at it as you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.
5. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
6. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
7. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
8. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
Good luck to all that want a successful relationship
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